Dynamic Communication

I Love RDI!

Today, I learned about Dynamic Communication.

Communication is really about building bridges or connections between our minds.  We use many forms of communication and verbal is just one form.  My son has plenty of words and scripts, but, he does not really communicate with me or anyone else for that matter.  He and I do not really have “shared” experiences like I have with other people or even my other kids.  When I talk with Sam, I explain someting, and then he talks for a while, then I talk for a while, then he sort of wanders away from me in mid diolague, humming to himself.  I realize now, that he has already “ended” the conversation.  There is little “back and forth” with Sam, and certainly no “shared experience.”  Does this sound familiar????

How is communication supposed to work?

Dynamic Communication is really about what we think and feel IN RELATION to what our partner thinks and feels.  In a conversation, typically, we are constantly shifting and re-assessing the shared experience based on gestures, facial expression, and non-verbal vocalizations (hmmm or ahhh) AND words spoken.  There are multiple channels to “speak” through and to interpret, and it all happens simultaneously.  Also, the process is fragile and imperfect–which makes it unpredictable and challenging and frustrating!

Why does it breakdown?

True communication is very complicated, frustrating and unpredictable.  There will be breakdowns.  No one communicates effectively 100% of the time.  Our spectrum kids get easily overwhelmed and withdraw.  Our kids need resilience and a much slower pace than our neurotypical kids.

This type of communication is a lot to ask our children to learn, but is is what RDI is all about.  Communication is social, emotional, and it is based on cognition and problem solving and flexibility.  I know that my relationships with my other two children are much deeper and richer than my relationship with Sam.  I also know that I “put in” more effort, more time, more patience–more everything with Sam than any other relationship I have (he puts in little effort with any of his relationships)–Why is he so one-sided with his relationships?  …because he does not have the capacity to SHARE in the fullness of a richly communicated conversation.  He must not “see” all the ways people communicate with him non-verbally PLUS, he must does not communicate that way either.  Therefore, the conversation is more scripted than fluid.  Hmmmm….

So…communication is what I want to work on with Sam!  RDI makes it easy by breaking tasks down and working on small bits at a time.  More to come!

Leave a Reply